Three Day Threshold

Three Day Threshold
Against the grain
threedaythreshold.com


Three Day Threshold sent me a few mp3s from their album Against the grain.

I am NOT going to review them. Nope, Sorry guys. I refuse to review this "cowboy, fast-almost-punk, toe tapping, dancing in a circle, get drunk, get in a fight" music. Just because I like the songs, it DOESN'T mean I am going to tell YOU that.

I am going to go put my head phones on, sit in my closet and get really really drunk while listening to Three Day Threshold... then maybe I'll go stab my neighbor or get a tattoo on my ass. Fuck you.

Quiet Loudly

Quiet Loudly
myspace.com/quietloudly

The guys in Quiet Loudly must love me. They allowed me, after a little begging, to hear 5 tunes from their upcoming 11-track album. I am told that I am the first person to hear the tunes except for the people in the band. I feel special. Like I'm in the band or something... Do i get any drink tickets?

These tunes have some pretty serious guitar playing going on. One second you have individual notes plucked out in a thin solo. The next second you hear what can only be described as "humped guitar noodle sandwich with onion beef rainbow" I guess that is not the only way the music could be described. Now that I think about it; I doubt anyone would think to describe it like that; but I assure you, the tunes sound exactly like that "humped guitar noodle sandwich with onion beef rainbow". Punk jazz? Acid pop... right, whatever.

There is a cover of "Walk on The Wild Side". I love it. I am a fan of Lou Reed, but it always bothered me that this song by Lou is really a desperation song but to me, Lou sounded sort of happy. Quiet Loudly took the despair inherent in the tune and smashed it in your face. Think of everything that was wrong with the Marky Mark version and reverse it's polarity to goodness. If Quiet Loudly reduced the song length from the 9 minutes it currently occupies to 4 minutes; Not only would they have a radio hit, but they would also destroy what makes their version this song a masterpiece.

www.myspace.com/quietloudly

See them live at TT The Bear Aug 22 2008

The Rationales

The Rationales
The Going and The Gone
www.therationales.com/


When I do reviews, I NEVER talk about the production quality, I never talk about the recording method, and I never talk about mixing. I feel it is unfair to judge local acts on recording gear and say, "hey this doesn't sound pro" Well of course not you fool; the band isn't pro. They most likely recorded their tracks in a bathroom, with a Fisher Price mic, and that mic was plugged into a 1980's cassette deck... one of the really cheap cassette decks, the ones that only had a fast forward and no rewind. So, as a rule, I NEVER talk about recording quality. Well, this review is the exception that proves the rule.

This album was recorded at Q Division and produced by Ed Valauskas. Ed, I have a little note... You ARE a pro, and the recordings are pro; but turn down the lead vocal just a smidgen. That is it. carry on.

Now, I have totally offended The Rationales by insulting their mixing preferences and I doubt they will be inviting me over their house for a game of Monopoly any time soon.... but lets see if I can win them back. Maybe if they keep reading they'll forgive me, they might even like me, and maybe send me some money for this cool pyramid scam... i mean, money investment tool, I found.

The music by The Rationales is great. No no... lets use a better word then great... how about, Honorificabilitudinitatibus. (meaning "the state of being able to achieve honors." See, I can be pretentious and use big words). The arrangement of each song is full. They have a wall of sound aproach without all the doubling and sounds great. (crap, i used the wordgreat again). Lets try this; The meiotic undertones... nah screw it... The album sounds great!

If pop music, the Stones and alt county were to get mixed with the band the Oneders... You might approach the sound of the Rationales... but really just think Wilco. oh, and if you don't know the Oneders(pronounced Wonders); Tom Hanks will come stab you in the ear with an ice skate.

Go check them out live... Make sure to yell Honorificabilitudinitatibus at the stage.

http://www.therationales.com/

The Sneaks

The Sneaks -
In an Instant EP

Don't you just love to skip? I do. I like to skip, I like the Brady Bunch, holding hands, unicorns, smiles, bubble gum, rough-mind-altering sex and pretty flowers. All of these things go great with listening to the albumIn An Instant by The Sneaks. All of them go with the music except one, unicorns; fucking stupid unicorns. I bet The Sneaks hate unicorns.

I like the way all the songs roll along. They constantly are pushing forward. Solo's are kept brief, harmonies kept clean, guitar tone kept simple, and the drums are hit correctly. Wait, what... did I just say drums are hit cor.. what do I mean. Is that like telling a band "You look like you are having fun"(I.E. you suck). NO not at all. The drummer does exactly what he should be doing. He is there, serving you the song on a golden platter of beats. ( what the hell am i talking about)

Weezer. I'll say it. They sound like Weezer; and thats a good thing. (I bet Weezer hates unicorns too.)

You can find out for yourself if they are any good live; go to their CD release show.

June, 26 2008 at Church
81 Kilmarnock St, Boston, Massachusetts
Cost : $7

http://www.myspace.com/thesneaksrock
http://www.thesneaksrock.com/

THE HOT BOX

The Hot Box
The Histone Code EP

www.hotboxboston.com/



The band name... I assume it is a sexual innuendo. I hate that. I mean, unless you are planing on showing your boxes, lets not bring them up and lets not talk about them; you do that and I won't talk about my third nipple. Actually, I've changed my mind... show me your box and I'll show you my 3rd nipple. I have to warn you, it sort of looks like a piece of pepperoni stuck on a paper bag with duct tape... well actually, it looks like that because that is exactly what it is. Don't judge me.

The Histone Code; Hot Box's 5 song EP is currently spinning on my cd player. It is Amazingly-magical and mystically-memorizing and well, ok i lied; The EP is not spinning in my CD player, it is more of... "Whirling" on my i-pod.

I sometimes feel like the band is not playing the same song at the same time. It is like, they couldn't agree on what song to play. Like they are fighting a battle. Somehow it works though and sounds great. Almost like how jazz is freeformed. I wouldn't call it math rock, or elitist Berkley grad crap or Frank Zappa on grape soda. It keeps you interested. Un-pop. That is it, un-pop.

You hear Hot Box and you are expecting POP. Where is the pop? They never deliver the pop and that is what makes this interesting. You are waiting and listening, waiting for them to fall into a little Pop Box. They never do and that makes me smile.(Please note the use of the term "Pop Box"; it was not intended to be clever; unless, i guess, you think it is clever; then the intention was always present for the cleveriness)

The review is over. Excuse me while I go for a jog with my Hot Box filled I-Pod... Maybe you'll see me, Look for the girl running with a smile and blond hair; approach her and ask if she has a little Hot Box for you to check out. You must check them out.

http://www.hotboxboston.com/

SEXCoffee Band

I just pooped in my pants. Just a little; not much. I am a little uncomfortable now. I mean, I don't know if I need to change my panties, i am not really sure. I am afraid to look though because i am almost 100 percent sure it is going to be shit.

I feel the same way about SEXCoffe Band. I listened to 1 song and I am uncomfortable. I don't really want to hear anymore because i am pretty sure it will be poopy panties.

If you like poopie panties, check em out
http://www.myspace.com/sexcoffee

Brendan Boogie Band

http://www.myspace.com/brendanboogieband

The only reason I am reviewing these guys is because they are playing a show at the Abbey with the Steve Gutenband (the band i just reviewed like 2 minutes ago) on may 27th.

They have one song on their myspace profile and they have a disclaimer written about it.
A NOTE ON THE JUKEBOX SONGS: Okay, so people have been bugging us about getting songs up. So Nate and Brendan grabbed a little digital recorder, a tamborine, and a few shots of Jameson's and recorded some very very VERY rough versions of a few of the tunes. Yes, we're aware they sound like shit. But hopefully, you will hear through the crappy sound quality to the genius within.

I love the song. This band is a umm..... no no, lets start that again... this band,no... i just can't put it into words; ok, I want to have their sea babies. It is true. I want to meet them in a magical land of fruit treats and milk and have their music impregnate me with sea babies.... What are sea babies you might be asking??? well... go use wikipedia.org

They are good, they are great, They are some members from the ex-band from Boston scamper. I really might go to this show.
http://www.myspace.com/brendanboogieband

the Steve GütenBAND!

http://www.myspace.com/stevegutenband

Ok, i've never heard this band except the three songs on their myspace page. So is it really fair for me to review them? HELLZ yes it is.

Does this music suck? No... do I want to hear more or see them live??? maybe... They play march 27th at The Abbey and I might go. Ya know, I might go. Like when your friend's band is playing and they beg you to come and you say "hey, i might be there." Then the day of the show comes and you just stay home and eat bacon instead.

Apple Betty

http://www.myspace.com/applebettyrox
First off, i need to say these ladies are very nice in person. Now, normally when someone starts a review like that, they proceed to bash the band. Well, I am not going to do that.

I like em. mix punk with a little rockabilly. And, yeah, mix in girls singing. The tunes are a little pop but not in that annoying Hanson way.

Why is it that when I hear or see a "girl band" I almost always get turned off immediately. It is not the term, you could call them "chick band; dickless; boobie empowered; band of only woman" WHATEVER. It is not the term, but the entire concept of only girls in a band. I always assume that it must be some marketing thing. Sort of like when a band claims Frank Zappa as their major influence. I don't dislike girl bands, it just always makes me think of what their "musicians wanted" ad looked like "Girl drummer and guitarist looking for chick bass player that rocks and has pro gear."

They have just released a new album ABCD and based on the tracks avaible on their myspace page. Go take a listen, it is pretty good!

http://www.myspace.com/applebettyrox

The In Out

http://www.myspace.com/theinout
The In Out

I think I am listening to a band I like, The Fall. Sounds like maybe their album "This Nations Saving Grace" but not the album, just the tracks they decided not to put out on the album. Ya know, the junk of a great band. Some bands junk is another bands poop cap that they pass off as gold.

The In Out song "Lawn Trousers" (you can hear on it in their Myspace page) sounds exactly like The Fall... exactly like... I mean, I think it could be a song by The Fall. Maybe it is, Hell, The Fall put out 30000 albums, there is no way i could know all their songs.

So; if you like The Fall, you'll most likely want to go buy another Fall album before you listen to these guys. If you don't know who The Fall are... umm.. go buy "This Nations Saving Grace." If you want to check ou The In Out; go ahead but you'd be better off buying an album by The Fall.

http://www.myspace.com/theinout